A good night's sleep.

I had my first child without literal, or indeed figurative, knowledge of children, they just happened to be peoples, other people's. Children then were things, babies were sweet but fear mongers, if I hold it, it's going to cry and I'm scared of that, fear mongers! Children were lovely until they wanted you when you didn't want to be wanted, like when you were doing something that interested you and they wanted you to play some inane something or other, or dress you up and put make up over every bit of exposed flesh, or get you to chase them or whatever it was when frankly, I was happy talking or sitting or being. I was too young to do anything like look after my younger sister when she was a baby and no one I know had children before I did, so I really had no need to know anything about babies. So yes, absolutely not the first clue as to what to do with one, not even a snow flake in hell's chance that, knowing what I know now, I would have opted for the role of mother in anything other than in the context of serving tea. The thing, I think, that saved me from the mania that is babies was routine.

ROUTINE? 

My first child was born early. She screamed for about 5 months (which, at 5 months and 4 different doctors consultations later, we learnt was reflux) and she probably slept for about 3 hours of that. I knew nothing, she woke, what seemed like every other minute, I fed her and changed her and simply hoped for the best. At 8 weeks, I spoke to a friend of mine who was about 8 weeks behind me with having her first and she, after 2 weeks, sensibly, had got "someone" in who'd sorted her out. "Give me her number."

Long and short, she gave me the routine, the woman, not the friend...

bottle 7am
bed 7.30-10am
bottle 10.15 am
play
bottle12.30pm
bed 12.45-3.45pm
bottle 4pm
play
bath 5.30
bottle 5.45
bed 6pm

Something like that, although this is a very loose translation of what I did and professionals should be consulted if you want to follow a proper routine. Gina Ford is often used and equally often maligned.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I knew nothing about children and the routine helped me to get some perspective as well as some "adult" time. I was psychotic about it with my first baby and then learnt with the second that children, rather like adults funnily enough, don't spontaneously combust if everything doesn't happen right at the second that it should. If they get their bottle 15 minutes later than normal, they aren't going to die and if they get 30 mins less sleep than usual, they don't immediately call childline or demand social services come round and see the injustice they suffer at the hand of their time frivolous parents.


I have friends who don't have a routine and they seem to do very well, I also have friends who have a routine that suits them and that's also fine, I also know people who are still just as psychotic about time keeping as I was and that works for them. I think it's about how much you can take. I couldn't take a minute more of sleepless nights, even waking once was too much for me and the routine that I was given, meant that at 8 weeks with my first baby and 4 weeks with the second, I didn't get woken up until about 6.30 / 7 in the morning having put the baby to sleep at 6.30 / 7 the night before.

If you, like I was, are struggling with a new baby and want to know how to have an undisturbed nights sleep, then can I suggest that routine and structure are the key to that deep and restful bed place. As my mother told me, and I in turn shall tell my children, everything looks better after a good night's sleep.