From what I can gather I started this post about a year, possibly two years ago and I got no further than the title, that's just how I roll. So, given that that time is nearly here again, thought I might really get something down, as I seem to be on an actual roll in the way I roll...
This Sunday, as most of you know, is Mother's Day. Yet another day where Moon Pig and Clinton's and other such places are ringing in the bucks. So, what are we all actually looking for on a day like this? I am pretty sure, that I can confidently say, that my mother would have loved a card, probably even a phone call, she'd have hated, and I totally understand why, us to come around hassling her for attention. She had the right idea, we were brought up by nannies, then videos then boarding school and videos. Children weren't to be seen or heard as far as my parents were concerned and sometimes, just sometimes, I really do understand that practise.
My two have been very secretive about what they have got planned for me, I know that for my "special day" they have been to the pottery shop with daddy and they haven't painted me a butterfly cup with wings for handles, nor do I know that they have got me a plate. The eldest hasn't made me a massive card and she didn't work on it today at "choosing time". How touched was I, when she told me that "today at choosing time Mummy I worked on your card, got to get it finished for Mother's day. " Out of all the things in the world she could have chosen, she chose to work on the card for me! I was so chuffed I actually stopped the car in a line of school traffic, turned round and told her that she was the greatest thing ever, her sister didn't agree so they ended up thumping each other til they cried, but there was a moment and that's enough.
It also happens to be my birthday this Friday, I am going to be 18 again, which is nice, because I actually really liked being 18, one of the best years of my life. Anyway, I also know what I am getting for my birthday, and that's great, as I am the sort of person who makes it her mission to sniff out surprises so that they aren't surprises. But I digress, Mother's day.
I think for me, now, the perfect Mother's Day would be one where my children are bed ridden, they're always so much nicer / more manageable when they're ill. Firstly they sleep A LOT, secondly because they are asleep so much they actually want for very little and so are also very quiet, and those two things mean that I can do whatever the mood calls for. To begin with I'd sneak around guiltily keeping quiet so as not to disturb them, but then boredom would set in because you aren't actually free, you have to be at home to tend and nurture. I'd read home improvement and decorating magazines, I'd probably cook because I like eating, not because I'm a good mother. I'd try and throw all their toys away and all our stuff away because I really want to get to a semi minimalist state, where anything left is either essential and or VERY pretty. I'd probably have some lovely coffee and be about a stone lighter for the whole day so I could eat whatever the hell I liked and not put on a pound, then when the children did get up, we'd sit down together as a family and have some amazingly favourite supper. They'd sit still for all three courses and eat and say things that were thought provoking and lovely, then they'd clear away everything and I'd go to bed and watch The Best Marigold Hotel. That's a Carling Mother's day.
Instead we're going to feel guilty about our mothers, mine because she's dead and my husbands because she's manning the world on the Isle of Wight as far as I can tell. The children will no doubt behave worse than they have ever done, or like normal, only I'll perceive it to be worse because I'll be expecting the Carling Mother's day. My husband and I shall eat loads and celebrate my birthday for the millionth time and Mother's Day simultaneously and whilst we're stuffing our fat little faces we'll wrestle the children to the ground, if needs be, to force food down them that they absolutely do not want because we'll have fois grased them with bits and pieces before. I'll probably have to set fire to (see Going Gangsta) most of the house and have bitched, niggered and hoed to very little avail. 9 milli beside me I'll have to down pints of gin and juice whilst ploughing through the bubonic which will inevitably lead to me spending the night with my head down the loo. It's just one of those days in the calendar that we're all thankful for.
I sincerely hope that all of you pass a relaxing and child easy day and that your mothers and their mothers are taken care of in a way that they truly deserve. Imagine where we'd be if there weren't any children, and therefore, if there weren't a Mother's Day, can you Adam and Eve it?
This Sunday, as most of you know, is Mother's Day. Yet another day where Moon Pig and Clinton's and other such places are ringing in the bucks. So, what are we all actually looking for on a day like this? I am pretty sure, that I can confidently say, that my mother would have loved a card, probably even a phone call, she'd have hated, and I totally understand why, us to come around hassling her for attention. She had the right idea, we were brought up by nannies, then videos then boarding school and videos. Children weren't to be seen or heard as far as my parents were concerned and sometimes, just sometimes, I really do understand that practise.
My two have been very secretive about what they have got planned for me, I know that for my "special day" they have been to the pottery shop with daddy and they haven't painted me a butterfly cup with wings for handles, nor do I know that they have got me a plate. The eldest hasn't made me a massive card and she didn't work on it today at "choosing time". How touched was I, when she told me that "today at choosing time Mummy I worked on your card, got to get it finished for Mother's day. " Out of all the things in the world she could have chosen, she chose to work on the card for me! I was so chuffed I actually stopped the car in a line of school traffic, turned round and told her that she was the greatest thing ever, her sister didn't agree so they ended up thumping each other til they cried, but there was a moment and that's enough.
It also happens to be my birthday this Friday, I am going to be 18 again, which is nice, because I actually really liked being 18, one of the best years of my life. Anyway, I also know what I am getting for my birthday, and that's great, as I am the sort of person who makes it her mission to sniff out surprises so that they aren't surprises. But I digress, Mother's day.
I think for me, now, the perfect Mother's Day would be one where my children are bed ridden, they're always so much nicer / more manageable when they're ill. Firstly they sleep A LOT, secondly because they are asleep so much they actually want for very little and so are also very quiet, and those two things mean that I can do whatever the mood calls for. To begin with I'd sneak around guiltily keeping quiet so as not to disturb them, but then boredom would set in because you aren't actually free, you have to be at home to tend and nurture. I'd read home improvement and decorating magazines, I'd probably cook because I like eating, not because I'm a good mother. I'd try and throw all their toys away and all our stuff away because I really want to get to a semi minimalist state, where anything left is either essential and or VERY pretty. I'd probably have some lovely coffee and be about a stone lighter for the whole day so I could eat whatever the hell I liked and not put on a pound, then when the children did get up, we'd sit down together as a family and have some amazingly favourite supper. They'd sit still for all three courses and eat and say things that were thought provoking and lovely, then they'd clear away everything and I'd go to bed and watch The Best Marigold Hotel. That's a Carling Mother's day.
Instead we're going to feel guilty about our mothers, mine because she's dead and my husbands because she's manning the world on the Isle of Wight as far as I can tell. The children will no doubt behave worse than they have ever done, or like normal, only I'll perceive it to be worse because I'll be expecting the Carling Mother's day. My husband and I shall eat loads and celebrate my birthday for the millionth time and Mother's Day simultaneously and whilst we're stuffing our fat little faces we'll wrestle the children to the ground, if needs be, to force food down them that they absolutely do not want because we'll have fois grased them with bits and pieces before. I'll probably have to set fire to (see Going Gangsta) most of the house and have bitched, niggered and hoed to very little avail. 9 milli beside me I'll have to down pints of gin and juice whilst ploughing through the bubonic which will inevitably lead to me spending the night with my head down the loo. It's just one of those days in the calendar that we're all thankful for.
I sincerely hope that all of you pass a relaxing and child easy day and that your mothers and their mothers are taken care of in a way that they truly deserve. Imagine where we'd be if there weren't any children, and therefore, if there weren't a Mother's Day, can you Adam and Eve it?
Have you ever watched 'The Middle'? There is an episode about Mother's Day which just about sums up what really happens for most Mums. Having said that I am lucky enough to have a teenager who, instead of buying me crap, is spending her pocket money (yeah whatever, I will probably pay but I don't mind) taking me to a little cafe for our favourite chicken and bacon baguettes and a nice cup of tea. Toddlers will be left at home with Daddy. This probably makes me a very bad muvva indeed but I can't flipping wait! Have a good one my nigga, peace out.
ReplyDelete