I know I know, can't get away from the slang, but it's very much a case of once you pop you really can't stop, it's all I can think about. Have my older daughter rapping "we're lovin it, lovin it, lovin it, we're lovin it like that..." on the school run this morning when we were very late and stuck behind a tractor who was having to negotiate illiterate, mouth breathing mothers who can't drive.
Beside the point. The point is, I have come up with an idea for a telvision programme that I think will make most mothers chomp at the bit with excitement, could be fathers as well, but then the title would need tweeking, it's still very early stages, anything is possible.
So, here's the idea, a sort of cross between The worst place in the world to be a... and Pimp My Ride, except instead of pimping cars we'd absolutely be pimping people. To explain, take a mother, me for instance and send her off to do something completely and utterly away from the day to day. So, we'd probably have Gaby Roslin and Chris Evans or Ricky Gervais as the presenters, they would say, this week we have Marelka from Salisbury, Marelka loves cooking and eating and hates mothers that drive badly on the school run and people who don't pick up their dog poo. She has two girls aged 5 and 3.5 and in her spare time... What spare time? For three weeks Marelka has agreed to leave her husband and two children and head to New York where she is going to shadow Trixie Skinny tits and become a lap dancer. The show will then follow the three weeks and by the end you'll see how it all goes. It doesn't have to be a lap dancer, it could be Deborah Meaden, she's a bitch, or a farmer or a taxi driver, just has to be something different that you become ace at or you have to go home. Might not be one mother, might be a team of mothers trying to be one thing, that would give it more of an edge.
As I have said, it is very early days, but if you are interested in becoming a mother bitch or father bitch, let me know, we can see if this one has legs and Channel 4 might go wild for it, in which case I'll need people to sign up or it won't work, I can't do it every week, might get boring and the children need care and attention, the dogs gone deaf so he can no longer fill in.
It's got to be worth a try, hasn't it?
Beside the point. The point is, I have come up with an idea for a telvision programme that I think will make most mothers chomp at the bit with excitement, could be fathers as well, but then the title would need tweeking, it's still very early stages, anything is possible.
So, here's the idea, a sort of cross between The worst place in the world to be a... and Pimp My Ride, except instead of pimping cars we'd absolutely be pimping people. To explain, take a mother, me for instance and send her off to do something completely and utterly away from the day to day. So, we'd probably have Gaby Roslin and Chris Evans or Ricky Gervais as the presenters, they would say, this week we have Marelka from Salisbury, Marelka loves cooking and eating and hates mothers that drive badly on the school run and people who don't pick up their dog poo. She has two girls aged 5 and 3.5 and in her spare time... What spare time? For three weeks Marelka has agreed to leave her husband and two children and head to New York where she is going to shadow Trixie Skinny tits and become a lap dancer. The show will then follow the three weeks and by the end you'll see how it all goes. It doesn't have to be a lap dancer, it could be Deborah Meaden, she's a bitch, or a farmer or a taxi driver, just has to be something different that you become ace at or you have to go home. Might not be one mother, might be a team of mothers trying to be one thing, that would give it more of an edge.
As I have said, it is very early days, but if you are interested in becoming a mother bitch or father bitch, let me know, we can see if this one has legs and Channel 4 might go wild for it, in which case I'll need people to sign up or it won't work, I can't do it every week, might get boring and the children need care and attention, the dogs gone deaf so he can no longer fill in.
It's got to be worth a try, hasn't it?
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